Sure, love conquers all. But when it conquers you, take the time to make sure you and The One have your financial ducks in a row. Sometimes these things may be hard to discuss but are essential to getting any marriage off on the right foot. I read all the time about how poor finances or lack of proper planning torpedoes even the best marriages. So here are 6 very solid pieces of advice that will help you avoid the fiscal cliff.
Jodi Helmer, Interest.com

Tying the knot

You’ve found The One, but before you exchange vows, you need to swap credit card bills, bank statements and credit scores.

“Couples need to be in alignment about their financial values and have a clear agreement about their priorities and goals,” says Deborah Price, money coach and author of “The Heart of Money: A Couple’s Guide to Creating True Financial Intimacy.”

In fact, talking about money — and coming to an agreement about savings and spending — just might save your marriage.

Researchers at Utah State University found that couples who disagreed about their finances once a week were twice as likely to divorce as couples who fought less than once a month.

“When we have conversations about money, we develop a much closer bond and much stronger feelings of safety and intimacy,” Price says.

Here are 6 smart financial moves to get you started.

Have ‘the talk’

If you’re planning to marry, it’s time for a sit-down with your sweetie about money.

The conversation should cover topics like earnings, savings, debts and credit scores as well as financial goals. It’s important to be honest now, because not even the most carefully hidden credit card statements will stay a secret for long.

“In a marriage, you need to have full financial disclosure,” says Robin Vaccai Yess, a certified financial planner in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. “If you go into the relationship with clear communication about money, it sets you up to have a healthy financial future.”

Financial vow: Make a date to talk about your finances and, “put emotion and lust aside to have a heart-to-heart discussion,” Vaccai Yess says.

Celebrate your successes – stashing money in retirement accounts, establishing an emergency fund – and talk about potential challenges such as credit card debt and low credit scores.

Establish joint priorities

You never gave much thought to $30 pedicures or basketball season tickets, but those expenses take on new meaning in a marriage.

Matt Bell, author of “Money and Marriage: A complete Guide for Engaged and Newly Married Couples,” says splurges you took for granted while you were single need to be renegotiated after marriage.

“You have to talk about your priorities for saving and spending, to be on the same page, and if there are differences, you need to talk through them,” Bell says.

Financial vow: Track expenses together. Once you have the numbers, create a budget that reflects your priorities as a couple. Bell advises couples to plan for living expenses and investments as well as splurges like romantic dinners and island vacations.

“Look at all financial decisions in terms of what is best for the marriage,” Bell advises. “Your attitude should be, ‘We’re going to set goals together.’ ”

Merge your finances

You share closet space, the remote and expenses. It’s a good idea to share a bank account, too.

Couples who want to keep some of their finances separate should consider a joint account to cover household expenses like the mortgage or rent, utilities and groceries.

“There’s no one right way to do this,” says Liz Weston, MSN Money personal finance columnist and author of “The 10 Commandments of Money.” “Whether you have separate accounts or joint or a mix, both parties need to know where the money’s coming from, where it’s going and what the plan is for your future.”

Financial vow: Have an honest discussion about which approach works best for your relationship. You should have equal access to the accounts, including debit cards and signing privileges.

Still, even couples who deposit all of their money into joint accounts need a little financial autonomy.

“Most couples benefit from having at least some ‘no questions asked’ money that each person can spend however he or she likes,” Weston says.

Tackle debt

Researchers at the National Marriage Project found that credit card debt is associated with spending less time together, more arguments and lower levels of marital happiness among newlyweds.

“For married couples, just starting their lives together can be a huge source of stress,” personal finance author Matt Bell says. “Debt only makes a marriage more difficult.”

Start dealing with debt together as soon as possible. It’s a mistake, according to Bell, to treat any debt as his and hers.

“If one person has debt before marriage, on the day they get married, they both have debt,” Bell says.
Financial vow: Tackle debt as a team. Focus first on high interest debt, like credit card balances. Once those debts are repaid, address other types of debt, like student loans.

Remember, paying down debt frees up money that can go toward joint goals like buying a house or saving for retirement.

Agree on credit cards

When it comes to your credit score, your marital status is not considered, but your history is.

“Your credit scores are individual; there are no ‘married’ scores,” says Beverly Harzog, an Atlanta-based credit card expert and consumer advocate.

Instead of closing the credit card accounts you established before marriage, Harzog advises couples to maintain individual accounts.

“A big part of your credit history is how long you’ve had the card,” she says. “If you close individual accounts, it will impact your credit score.”

You can open a joint account to cover household expenses.

Financial vow: Decide how you’re going to use credit.

If you use credit for everything but pay the bill at the end of the month and your sweetie only uses plastic for emergencies, it could cause disagreements. You may decide to take a his-and-hers approach to using individual cards, but it’s essential to have an agreement about how you plan to use joint accounts.

“Having the conversation now can help you avoid arguments when the bill comes in,” says Harzog.

Plan for retirement

Contributing to a 401k or an individual retirement account can help you achieve financial security in retirement. It also comes with tax deductions and the benefit of compound interest.

Saving for the future does require some strategizing.

“You should be contributing enough to each plan to get the full match,” says MSN Money’s Weston. “You don’t want to forgo free money, or the extraordinary power of compounding, so take advantage of those plans.”
Weston believes both spouses should have their own retirement accounts, noting, “Having money in both people’s names will give you more flexibility when you’re in retirement.”

Financial vow: Contact a financial planner. An experienced planner can help you map out your financial future, including the investment strategies that best fit with your goals.

Even though you might have individual retirement accounts, you’re still working toward the joint goal of a stable financial future.